Thursday, December 31, 2009

St. Elsewhere

As it's the last year of the decade I feel I should blog...
about something.

One of my resolutions for the new year is to be more consistent with my little piece of internet.
Particularly when I go off to university in the fall.

But now, I think I'll do a yearly synapse.

Highlights of this year:

I've figured out where I'm going.

  
Not just to school but in my life.
It's more of a relief then an accomplishment,
if I'm being honest with myself. 

The first half of the last year of High School has been
A LOT more fun then the other 3 years.
Thanks to my friends.







My hands have become more practiced in artistic mediums.
And I've had my fair share of epiphanies when it comes to being an
Artist.
I've also discovered my niche in Stop Motion.
and plan to pursue my youtube account
[We'll see how well that actually goes.]


Lowlights of this year:


I've realized its my last full year living at home...
for the rest of my life.
Never, for 365 days year round, will I be able to call this
HOME.

It's almost like a slap in the face;
it IS reality slapping me in the face.
I feel as if I've taken this year for granted. 

I'm dealing with issues of letting go.
With all the fun things we did,
particularly in Youth Group.
I'm going to miss being a part of that. 

I guess a fear of change is natural;
and if life were to stay like this forever in Farmington
I would have an even harder time leaving.
But I know, nothing stays the same.
and I'm 17 years old...
6 months away from becoming an adult-
and St. Elsewhere is calling my name.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

My Soul Is Fluffy; Because It's Made Of Pancake

So, as I was on SoulPancake today, I came across this awesome website
http://www.twittermagnets.com/
and I found it to be a quiet and inspirational experience.
As cliche as the previous line sounds; this website is cool.

You don't need a twitter to join in, so go ahead and try it.

What it is, is that this website consists of digital fridge magnets.
You get a handful at a time and attempt to create poetry.
A peaceful sprinkling of piano litters the audio,
and you have as much time as you need to do whatever you please.

Here are some of the small poems
I took the time to create today.

---
From boastful hand,/
With bitter heart/
They worry by dance-/
Kissing sky/

Asinine greed kept the prisoner here/
and the liquid angel,/
was pliant concrete/

You smile/
At that free thinking-/
Time lingers,/
and breath shivered/
In our secret fever./

She is sad/
For the wholesome lamented away/
to broken glass,/
to melt,/
never healing the fools./
---

There are just a few.
Check this site out for some inspiration.
and for more ideas like this check out SoulPancake

[I knew pancake was good for the soul.]

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Piece Of Mind

The class was quiet, almost as a sign of respect to the awkwardness that seemed to radiate from his expression.


“I guess a handful of students are more intimidating then a room full of adults.” Bryan thought to himself.

“What is history?” The professor repeated. All this repetition did was add a hint of incredulity to some of the blank stares. Of course it would be Kelley who would intervene.

“Umm, records of the past?” She chimed in. Her voice was enough to send Bryan on edge, but it was the snigger that was heard from the back of the class that caused him to tense slightly and turn around along with half of his classmates.

Naturally it was Dave, everything obnoxious was Dave. Incredulity turned to eye rolls and everyone faced forward again. If the professor had been uncomfortable before it was nothing compared to now.

“Well,” he spluttered, seeming to cling to Kelley’s answer like a life raft. “Almost Miss…” a quick glance down at his roster, wiping the beads of sweat away from his upper lip. “Yaw.” He looked up and gave her what was his version of a quick smile, though to Bryan it looked more like a grimace. “History is the study of fact through primary…”

Bryan returned to the sketch in the corner of his “Term 1 Syllabus”. Sure this class was boring, but making an awkward teacher feel uncomfortable was stupid. Then again, everything Dave did was stupid.

Several moments passed with the monotonous buzz of the professor droning on, and then it happened, Bryan got that feeling. THE feeling. The notion he was being watched.

“I stopped that stuff” he told himself “I stopped that ages ago.” Yet these words of comfort didn’t stop him from taking a glance up at the ceiling.

“There’s nothing there, I told you.” He thought. He had not realized his body had tensed up until he felt it relax.

“Hey Bwyan!” Obviously Dave had noticed his body’s reaction as well. “Bwy Bwy you ok?” Bryan felt his body tense up again as Dave’s whispered baby voice reached his ears.

He had promised himself this year, no more taunts. Dave could no longer push him around. He could no longer make fun of a condition he had taken care of.

“C’mon Bwyan, I just wanna talk wiff you.” Bryan’s hands were shaking. “I just wanna be your fwend. So you can at least have one real one.” Only the people sitting around Dave could hear what was going on, unfortunately for Bryan, Kelley was one of them.

“Dave, stop. Just leave him alone.” Most people might have looked at this as Kelley’s way for standing up for Bryan, but he knew better, and so did Dave, the whispering was distracting her from Professor Em’s lecture.

Bryan continued to face forward. He would ignore Kelley and he would ignore Dave, he had to. Yet that red pulse was starting to cover his brain, the one that caused him to shut down and follow his instincts…

“Shut. Up. Dave.” said Bryan, through clenched teeth barely above a whisper. “I’m warning you.”

A symphony of sniggers ran through his ears. Dave and his cronies had started the game, and if they didn’t heed his warning, he was going to end it.

“Like I’ve never heard that one before.” Dave said with his usual sneer creating a whole new batch of fresh sniggers.

“Not Today.” Bryan said, still facing the front of the class and forgetting to whisper. Heads turned to look at him.

Why had he decided to sit exactly in the middle of everyone? “Oh ya,” he thought “Self Control.” With a deep breath he helped steady his shaking hands and slowly the pulsing in his brain turned light. Keeping his mind off of Dave, he concentrated on his surprise that Professor Em hadn’t noticed anything. He kept droning on, Bryan guessed that once he got into his element he hardly noticed anything.

Bryan returned to his sketch. Moments passed and Professor Em continued buzzing about the early neoliths. It was when he began adding his final touches to his sketch (A cave painting where he brutally portrayed himself shooting flaming arrows at a Dave stick figure.) that he heard it again.

“Psst, Bryan.” It was Dave, again. But he wasn’t using his baby voice this time. Bryan turned around.

“What?” he whispered, trying to sound as calm as possible.

“Logan just left,” said Dave unnecessarily gesturing to empty seat beside him. “I was just wondering if I could ‘borrow’ one of you invisible buddies until he…” but he never finished his sentence, Bryan had had enough. Closing his book as he stood up, ignoring the imploring looks from classmates and the annoyed look from Kelley, he focused on Dave with a disgusted stare.

“I told you Dave,” Bryan said entrusting an odd sense of calm, not bothering to keep his voice down. “Not today.” The last two words rang through the silent room, Professor Em had stopped lecturing.

To Bryan’s great pleasure, Dave finally looked unnerved. Bryan wasn’t aware, as he thought his expression was calm, how terrifying he looked glowering down on Dave.

“Not today,” he muttered to himself looking down. He took a deep breath and gripped his book more tightly. “Not TODAY!” Bryan yelled the last word as he flung his history text book across the room. It spun on its side like a frisbee and with a sickening crunch the thick spine met Dave’s face.

Bloody, Dave slumped back into his chair. His eyes rolled back into his head and then made no more movement.

“Is he DEAD?” Kelley screeched? Her question was met in stony silence, most eyes watching Bryan’s figure sit back down and continue to draw, completely oblivious to the panic now consuming the room.

As Professor Em called the office and his fellow student crowded around the now injured Dave, Bryan scribbled out his old sketch and began to start a new rendition of it. His stick figure was now sitting on the smooth cave floor, looking absentmindedly above him. Dave’s stick figure was lying on the ground a few inches away, dead.

Friday, October 30, 2009

Dear Body,

Thank you for being there my whole life.
Your somebody I can't always face, but you always have my back.
I look up to you because you're always yourself and never put up an act.

I know I take you for granted,
and although I may not act like it, I always know your there.
I may not always like how you look,
and I may be embarrassed by you sometimes
but your MY body, and for this I'm grateful.

I apologize for neglecting you sometimes
but this letter is to thank you, to show appreciation.
And it's also a covenant:

"I, Sierra Faye Sitzes forever promise to take care of you.
To treat you like my own, and to always have faith in you.
You make up a big part of me, and a part of who I am,
and I promise to never forget that."

Thursday, October 22, 2009

6 Months Or So...

Its eh, definatly been a while since I've blogged.
I apologize if anybody actually keeps up with this :/

Anyhoozle...
Lots and lots of stuff has been going on.

As a senior in highschool
the idea of this ACTUALLY being my last year
has finally sunk in.
Especially around homecoming week.
Its probably my last homecoming...
EVER so I had to eh,
express my self.

(Me and my girl Ron as Shanaynay)


I took inspiration for this outfit from
Shane Dawson
(
www.youtube.com/shanedawsontv )

And then there was the corn maze...

(An edible source of fun)


I had oodles of fun with mi amigas
el twin(o?)s
Kayla and Kelsey Mengwasser.

But besides all the social events
other things have been going on
mostly in my head...
(I'm not going mad, I think)

But really
having to plan for college
and getting all my stuff together
is like reality in the form of a bat
causing blow after blow into my abdominal
...
ok so maybe thats an over exaggeration
but its still a reality check.

This time next year I'll be living in a dorm
beginning the workings for my career...
...my life actually.

But now that I have it figured out
I can get excited.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Yesturday was L.A.M.E.

Yesturday I went with my youth group to L.A.M.E. Fest
down [?] in Minnith MO.
Contrary to its name it was not lame at all



Two fantastic bands were there
the Gary Greenlee Project
and Parallax View
they did muy bueno
The food was good,



nothing like a good sloppy joe to replenish the calories used
on all the fun games they had.
There was a rock wall


mechanical bull


and jousting.



there were very little injuries
which was surprising considering how long it took Donna
to achieve her goal of mounting the fake bull.

Mo and I recieved hits to the face from the King during jousting
but it didnt leave a mark
[unlike parker... sorry buddy.]

Over all id say it was safe to say we had a blast
I wanna thank the people who put it together for
well...
putting it together.
If your reading this
thanks bunches!
fatastic job

Saturday, May 16, 2009

See the "Light"

So last night I went to our local TSA's lockin to hear a fantastic local band
STROBELIGHT MAFIA

Before I go TOO in depth I feel the need to point out some things.
#1, I am friends with the members of the band-- from school and youth group etc
BUT I still like their music. Very much so.
Trust Me,
I would not be taking this much effort to lie about them.
Now that my bias is established here is my review.

Im not quite sure what you would classify them as
sort of indie rock I guess.
[I wont DARE say "pop", it reminds me too much of Britney Spears]
They've evolved so much over this last year they've been together
Through their music and stage presence

The locals around here really like the band too
Strobelight has a following as good as their music
They have a good mix of upbeat and chill songs.
The beats will make you move and the lyrics will make you think.

If you live around here in Missouri they have a series of gigs lined up
until the end of summer.
Next weekend, on may 23rd they have a gig up at FUBAR
[thats in the big STL,]
they also have other smaller gigs around the farmington/park hills area
check em out






Monday, April 20, 2009

The 20th

so the day has come
for a new blog...


and TA DA,
here it is.
Today, April 20th is a day of remembrance,
and dare i say it,

negativity.

History buffs would know this day
as an anniversary of Hitler's birth.
Junkie's would know it as
National "get high day"

[whoever dictated that as a holiday, i would like to speak to you someday.]
but for me, i kept thinking of Columbine,
of those shootings,
of Cassie.

There's a great song by flyleaf
entitled "Cassie" about
well, Cassie and the shootings.

[lyrics at bottom of blog.]

Its amazing how we go through day to day
worrying about who's dating who,
whose saying what,
what to do when,
and when the hour is over...
not even considering

the possibility of what happened that day,
being a reality of today.


Tragedy none the less,
it still inspires me.
The courage to stand up for a belief
THE belief
It somewhat antagonizes me,

because i dont know if i could do what she did.
Iv thought about it a lot over today;


would i be able to resist my natural instinct to survive?
or would i stare death in the face just like my savior did?

Its sad i question my "faithful" persona
but im not strong
as a christian. I dont think.
I try, and fail.
and fail.
and fail.
My witness is shaky-
My influence questionable.
I guess its safe to say that at
THIS point in my life
I'm no Cassie Bernall

Cassie [Acoustic]
By: Flyleaf
The question asked in order to save her life or take it.
The answer 'no,' avoiding death and 'yes' would make it.
'Do you believe in God?' written on the bullet.
Say yes to pull the trigger and my sister, Cassie, pulled it.
They didn't love their lives so much, as to shrink from death.
Inspired in their footsteps, we will march ahead.
Don't be shocked that people died.
Be surprised you're still alive.
All heads are bowed in silent reverence.
The floor is wet with tears of sorrowful rememberance.
The altar's filled with hearts of repentance.
Perfect love kills all fear.
Rejoice in this deliverance!
They didn't love their lives so much, as to shrink from death.
Inspired in their footsteps, we will march ahead.
Don't be shocked that people died.
Be surprised your still alive.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Wowserz

Everything seems to be crashing down on me so fast.
My future
....mostly.
So state art contest is coming up.
little bit of stress.
o.k.
a LOT of stress
it has to be good-
i have to do something unseen by man
something S.C.A.D. worthy...
for sure.
The winner gets a small scholarship
TO S.C.A.D.
yaaaa. This is more than
"Mineral Area Art Contest"
Its the big leagues. HUGE






Heres some of my stuff... but nothing real serious.
Nothing contest worthy.
Nothing exceptional
I need something new.
Something fresh.
My art mentor said
"Its not the final look that makes a peice spectacular
Its the journey you take in creating it that makes it perfect."
What does that even mean?
My source of inspiration?
I need to find one of those.
I mean im inspired by everything around me -
i just have to figure out how to turn it into
something

something.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Y.G.

My youth group is one of the most important things in my life.
It is my escape from the horrid world of Farmington Snr. High.
They are my support system. They are my source of humor.
My youth group is my second family.

Its definatly safe to say i would be lost without my little congregation
of struggling teens... just like myself.




None of us are perfect, obviously ^^
these images show we're pretty human.
and Humans make mistakes.
The only difference about this group of humans is that
we have each other to pick up when we fall down.
Our support system is strong.
Thats one reason why i ENJOY going every
wednesday and sunday morning.
I dont feel like i have to,
I go because i want to.
And i think thats what a real youth group should be like.
Straight up.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Its Me

So I figure I should use a blog to explain a little about my self...

I'm Sierra Sitzes, and this is me ^^
I live in Farmington Missouri. Never heard of it?
Good, cause if you live anywhere exciting, you wont really care about our "small town".

My youth group is really important to me, we're all really close and support each other no matter what the circumstances.
As do my friends and I. [Who happen to belong to my youth group as well.]
I have several passions, the first being art. I hope to be an artist - hence my dream school being


Savannah College of Art and Design

art is just something im good at, a way to express myself without people reading right into what im feeling.
I feel good art is a piece that causes everyone to interpret it in a different way. Its not the same to everyone. Good art is thought provoking, and thats what i strive for in my own creations.

Music is pretty important to me too.
My favorite band forever is Relient K- No band inspires me quite like them.


But the most important thing in my life is my god.
Jesus is my best friend, and is the one person that is always there for me.
Thank you.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Ripped Contradictions

I once read that whenever something is ripped away from you its really god emptying your hands to replace it with something better. Which i guess makes sense.
To bad i don't believe it.
I understand that god puts us through certain situations on purpose. Situations that we cant handle without him. Almost like a reality check. Life kind of has to be hard if you think about it. Do you really think anyone would need god if horrible things didnt happen in the world?
Do you really think that without the survival of a hardship, praise for god would be needed?
Of course it would, i mean this is god we're talking about, here. You know, creator of the Universe, the one who saves us from burning eternally... the sacrifices he's made. That deserves a lot of praise.
But be honest, would you care if life was easy?
If all you had to worry about was what time you wanted to go to work the next day or what flavor of ice cream you felt like having?
I'll be real, I'd probably forget about him a little bit.
I mean i do now, when things are good.
When whatever i want, or feel like i need is right in my hands, or holding my hands.
But recently thats been ripped away, and what do i have to show for it? A tear-stained tShirt and muttering "Why God, why?" Over and over again.
I've been drifting I'll admit, but what I wonder is whether god had to take it to this extreme?
He knows me
right?
So he's knows how bad this hurts,
and yet.
here i am, again. In the same position i was twice before...
suffering a little bit.
I'll make this clear, I'm not bitter. I just want to understand what the reason for all of this is. I know eventually it will be revealed...but eventually makes me anxious.
I dont want to make a mistake.
and also
i want to understand.
Is that really so much to ask?