Ripped Contradictions

I once read that whenever something is ripped away from you its really god emptying your hands to replace it with something better. Which i guess makes sense.

To bad i don't believe it.

I understand that god puts us through certain situations on purpose. Situations that we cant handle without him. Almost like a reality check. Life kind of has to be hard if you think about it. Do you really think anyone would need god if horrible things didnt happen in the world?

Do you really think that without the survival of a hardship, praise for god would be needed?

Of course it would, i mean this is god we're talking about, here. You know, creator of the Universe, the one who saves us from burning eternally... the sacrifices he's made. That deserves a lot of praise.

But be honest, would you care if life was easy?

If all you had to worry about was what time you wanted to go to work the next day or what flavor of ice cream you felt like having?

I'll be real, I'd probably forget about him a little bit.

I mean i do now, when things are good.

When whatever i want, or feel like i need is right in my hands, or holding my hands.

But recently thats been ripped away, and what do i have to show for it? A tear-stained tShirt and muttering "Why God, why?" Over and over again.

I've been drifting I'll admit, but what I wonder is whether god had to take it to this extreme?

He knows me

right?

So he's knows how bad this hurts,

and yet.

here i am, again. In the same position i was twice before...

suffering a little bit.

I'll make this clear, I'm not bitter. I just want to understand what the reason for all of this is. I know eventually it will be revealed...but eventually makes me anxious.

I dont want to make a mistake.

and also

i want to understand.

Is that really so much to ask?